NJ teacher sex case sparks outrage. Why the ‘lucky kid’ myth needs to die

These teacher sex scandals have become so routine that they’re almost as interchangeable as a perverted Mad Libs.

I need a raunchy noun. Now two disturbing verbs. Here we need a proper noun.

In this latest case of a female teacher accused of having sex with a student, the proper noun is Ashley Fisler. The 36-year-old taught social studies at the Orchard Valley Middle School in Washington Township, Gloucester County. A former student of hers, now an adult, has come forward and reported she had sex with the victim multiple times in her car, as well as the very classroom in which she taught. That school teaches 6th through 8th grade, so presumably, when this was alleged to have happened, the victim would have been no older than 14 at most. Possibly younger.

Read More: NJ middle school teacher charged with sex assault of student

The arrest

The investigation, in which police say they found text messages corroborating the victims’ story, resulted in an arrest and six counts of first-degree sexual assault of a minor.

When you have female teachers sleep with students, and the victims are usually male, the boys club shows up. The smirks and the attaboys are plenty. The comments always follow about the kid being “lucky” and there was no harm. Some say it shouldn’t even be a crime.

The damage

If you’re one of those people high-fiving, have you taken your 13-year-old son downtown and paid for a street hooker for him to have sex with in your backseat?

No? Why not?

I mean, a body is a body, and all sex is the same in your view, right? If you’re going to objectify people in this manner, why not a prostitute?

Of course, a teacher seems a bit more sanitized. Maybe it checks off your childhood “Hot for Teacher” Van Halen fantasy.

Deep down, though, you should want something better for your son just as you would your daughter. Stop teaching boys that women are just conquests. Is that what you want him to think of his mother? His sister?

Why this kills me

My father was sexually victimized as a minor by his babysitter. It happened on multiple occasions. It changed who he otherwise would have been.

As a result, my dad didn’t see women as they are, which is not all that different from us: equals, smart, strong, with depth and dreams. He saw them as physical trophies before anything else. He was colder than he should have been. Somewhat childish in his view of women. Is that shocking when his first sexual imprint was as a child and that it would remain there?

He married, but it didn’t last. My parents’ marriage was miserable, and they divorced when I was a kid. He dated, but nothing worked out. I’m convinced my dad could have had a better life if he hadn’t been sexually assaulted as a minor, for I could see, looking back on it, all the ways it affected him. Instead, he spent his last many years alone and died at 62.

This attaboy bullshit needs to stop. This is a crime for a reason, and these aren’t hot young teachers there for you to fantasize over. These are sexual predators who belong in prison for as long as possible.